 Why can “older” people be so hard on themselves and those younger than them? Growing up, I heard the following: “Enjoy it now, while you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.” “Wait until you are older, and your joints don’t work anymore either.” “Well, you’re young so that dress looks good on you now. Wait until you are my age.” They left me with the uneasy feeling that in my delicate state, I was somehow superior to the messenger, but I wouldn’t be for long. Where I think these bitter people went terribly wrong was how they coped with truth of aging: it’s hard. However, instead of pushing forward with a positive mindset, they felt miserable and wanted to ensure others did too. Misery loves company. Or maybe they felt a sense of justice because aging is, in a way, an equalizer. To be fair, they did convey some truth: unless we die, we all grow older. It’s just the cycle of life. We will ALL face aging and its consequences (whatever they may be). We can take comfort in the fact that we are not alone in getting older. However, we wouldn’t look at a little one and say with a snarl, “You are inevitably going to get your heart broken. You just wait for it!” How awful! Instead, we might gently take her hand and explain to her that there is pain in life, but it can be overcome and help turn her into a stronger, better person. And this is exactly how we should talk about aging to ourselves and others: acknowledging the negative but balancing it out with the positive. If not, we sound bitter and unhappy and try to pull others down with ourselves. And no matter how we face it, we still grow older. So let’s do it positively and proudly.  Love, Auntie
38 Comments
8/23/2019 08:47:52 am
Britt, you are so right! We have to open our eyes and hearts. It's so easy to focus on the negative I think? 8/23/2019 08:48:57 am
Mariam, I love your posts, they are so uplifting. Always bring a smile to my face! Growing older I'm actually happier than I was when I was younger - more secure in everything and more confident. I don't know why folks perceive growing older with so much negativity. Sure there will be some drawbacks comparing to your youth but there are so many, far better things too! 8/23/2019 11:44:47 am
Smita! Thank you so much for your kind words. You are happier, more secure and more confident. Love to hear this! 8/23/2019 08:55:41 pm
Yes! It's so important to value ourselves no matter what stage of life we're at. Great positive message you're sharing here. 8/24/2019 12:05:01 am
Thanks, Trish! You are so right! We need to value ourselves!!!
Kelly Martin
8/23/2019 09:09:24 pm
I’m not worried about getting older. You’re only as old as you feel. I’m actually looking forward to retirement! 8/24/2019 12:06:04 am
Kelly, you are awesome! Thanks for sharing your positive words with me! 8/23/2019 11:34:08 pm
Aging is such an interesting thing to me. I've come to embrace it once I hit 30, and have ever since. My favorite person on the planet has 30 years on me, and I used to pick on him about it, like being old was the worst possible thing to be. Lol. Now I'm like, I got this. I'm starting to get my life figured out and I love it. Life honestly gets better as I get older. Maybe it is a confidence thing, but I love getting older. Wish I could do it without the grey hair, but such is life. I can't change my genetics. 8/24/2019 12:08:04 am
Erica, I love that you said you are starting to figure out life and you love it! Your whole comment was super encouraging to me. Thanks! 8/24/2019 09:32:54 am
I love your post. Age is just a number, isn't it? Yes, we get older, we gather a few wrinkles (laughter lines in my case!), grey hair and joints might start to hurt more, but it's how we feel inside that matters. As I have grown older, I've felt more confident than I was when I was young. I wouldn't want to turn the clock back. 8/24/2019 10:15:54 am
Thank you for your thoughts! So many people tell me they are more confident, and I agree. You wouldn't turn that clock back...awesome! This is a great post to be mindful about aging gracefully. As I'm getting older, I find myself saying some of these same things. I'm sure it comes from being a little bitter about missing out on the things we use to enjoy. I remember when I could cut back on eating a few days and lose 5 lbs. 8/24/2019 10:22:39 am
I love your honesty. I do miss certain things, and aging is hard. I'm so glad we have the support of one another. Thank you for sharing with me! 8/25/2019 09:43:23 am
Snheal, No it's not crazy! I think you hit on something really great - looking to others who are older - to inspire you! 8/25/2019 02:35:01 pm
Oh how I despised when my parents and grands would make those ludicrous comments! Now I'm the age they were when they started those comments and yet I feel better and younger than in my 20's! And I take good care of myself so I do! I love this! 8/25/2019 11:54:37 pm
Debra, I love that you are feeling better and younger than in your 20s. You are incredibly inspirational! I love that you had a positive mindset no matter what negative comments were said to you! 8/25/2019 03:31:42 pm
I've always looked young for my age, so I didn't really hear those comments growing up. But, now that I'm older, I find myself telling other friends, family close to my age that aging isn't a bad thing, it's really about your perspective and how you look at it. You can choose to see it as a blessing or a curse. I choose to see every new day as a blessing. 8/25/2019 11:56:06 pm
Betsy, I'm so glad there are people like you on this earth, spreading your GREAT perspective! 8/26/2019 06:58:08 am
Lisa, totally agree. And you are right - it's great to watch and learn from others! I try to do the same! 8/26/2019 07:15:03 am
This is so true and just about 53 I am remembering these sayings more and more, but yet I am feeling more confident in me than ever before. 8/26/2019 08:59:18 am
Rachael, isn't it amazing the stuff we remember? Words have such an impact. I love that despite the sayings you heard, you are feeling more and more confident.
Agree with this so much!! It drives me nuts when people always go on like "this is just what happens when you get older" type mindset. Just because it happened to you, doesnt mean its inevitable for everyone. We all will age different, and some people may have no problems at all. If we have in our heads that something is going to happen, then guess what? Our bodies are going to believe it, and make something happen. 8/26/2019 09:01:24 am
Lindsay, your comment really made me smile! It's true - everyone is different and our experiences will be different! I'm seeking to find that resolution too... 8/26/2019 09:56:30 am
Aging has always been a touchy subject for me. It's all about taking care of yourself and learning. Great post! 8/26/2019 10:00:38 am
Krissy - great reminder! You are right - it's about self care!
Sunshine | merakimusings.org
8/26/2019 10:28:34 am
Age is just a number. It's all about how people gracefully carry themselves and enjoy every moment. This post is so uplifting and positive. I shared it with my mom too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. 8/27/2019 05:08:01 am
Sunshine - I'm so glad you found the post uplifting. That makes me so happy!
I don't like thinking about ageing, especially not about my own ageing. I just feel like I should be a lot further and better off in life than I am. In short I feel like a let down, and there isn't enough time to fix it. That being said I'm not completely negative about it. I get that it's a wonderful thing to be able to make it to our next birthday, and then our next etc etc. 8/27/2019 05:10:06 am
Nyxie, I'm so glad you are still able to be positive! You are so encouraging. 8/27/2019 05:11:54 am
Alexandra, Thank you so much for your comment! I hate that you still have to put up with that negativity! Leave a Reply. |
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