I wonder if life is full of dichotomies to keep us balanced between pride and self-loathing?
The older I get, the wiser I feel; yet, strangely the less I know.
With each passing year, I cleverly think I’ve mastered a piece of life, only to realize I may be queen of my fish tank, but there is an ocean out there.
And I find myself wanting to dive in.
I’ve seen muesli for years and years on the local grocery shelves. No biggie. It’s pretty mundane, in the grand scheme of things.
Then I stumbled on this unusual store, Mymuesli. (Shockingly, it sells museli.) But It’s not just a delight for the taste buds. The entire store is a feast for the eyes. The packaging of the muesli consists of tubes – all colors. And because everything else in the store is stark white, the products pop – creating a display of color that could impress a rainbow.
The point is, the store vividly reminds me of how as I age, I see the same. Over and over again. And since finding unique becomes a little harder each year, when I do find it, it’s a delight and treasure. Like Mymuesli.
I guess, as I get older, it becomes easier for me to understand what is “unique.” (Keeping in mind that my definition of “unique” will vary from others’ definition.)
When I was an adolescent and would participate in an art contest, my naïve mind couldn’t fathom how the judges awarded the more unusual, innovative pieces. But now I do. And no art contest is even required. The more I age, the easier it is for me to recognize and relish the unique – like a sort of personal treasure hunt – in my daily life.
I grew up in a family with strong loyalties; therefore, I grew up knowing the generation before me was my support system. They were on my team, so to speak.
Of course, this didn't mean they were physically with me every second of my life, but they were there in the sense that if I needed them, they were a force of power I could tap into.
With life comes death and multiple other losses. The older I get, the more “my team” diminishes; for a while, this discouraged me. I felt like I was outside on a cold day without a coat. Vulnerable.
But my thinking has changed.
I realize the years have lead me to a new phase in my life: I am now the support system for the generation after me. It's my turn to provide strength, loyalty, and love. To be cliché: it is now my time to shine. And shine I will.
The result? I no longer feel like I have lost. Instead, I have gained. Because in order to provide strength, loyalty, and love, I am forced to dig deep and find it all within myself.
Like a good library, life contains mysteries.
For example, even though I am most like my niece Bear, I love all my nieces and nephews. With each passing year, I still can't explain what affectionately draws me to them every time I see them.
While I’m not a mother, it’s a tiny way I relate to the mysterious connection that typically occurs when biological mothers hold their babies for the first time. Unexplainable love.
Obviously, life continually throws the unexplainable in my path – enigmas that may or not be revealed with age and time. And as I age, I find that each new year is always a bit of a mystery in all it’s unknown glory. So while I hope this new year of 2018 unravels secrets to us, I also hope that we find awe and appreciation in the secrets that aren’t revealed.
After all, what would life be like without the thrill of a little mystery?
Happy New Year
Creator of Love, Auntie.