Having no children of my own, I find I can easily enjoy my friends’ offspring. I’m out of the comparison game that is so easy to jump into.
For example, I don’t have to worry about oversharing about my child’s day, accomplishments, and other details I (and probably only I) find fascinating. I can sit and listen to my friends tell story after story about their own littles and laugh and cry along with them.
Are there mothers who avoid comparing their children? I’m sure there are. But as one who pushes toward perfection, I find it quite a relief to completely side step all the temptation to measure and compare and just delight in the children I do know. To be on their team, so to speak. And their Mama’s too.
Aging While Childless Entries: I want to help empower those who (for whatever reason) are living childless, so that they can further embrace their situation and find joy. A life filled with children is a life filled with treasures---but so is a life without children.
Younger me strongly believed that if I saw something I LOVED (yes, all caps) – a beautiful blouse, a unique necklace, an impressive “thing” that appealed to me, I needed to somehow obtain it; then people would see me and the amazing “something” and connect the two of us together. In essence, I would somehow enrich my reputation by my beloved possessions.
I quickly learned that’s a stressful mindset to live in.
With age has come the liberty of appreciating something without the desire to acquire it.
When I stumbled on this famous quote, I knew I had found a gem:
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies, and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.” Osho
I’m focusing on a simple thing for this blog entry.
One thing I love about aging? Picking my own bedtime.
It’s easy to forget the days when “lights out” was decided for me. That is, until life (aka babies, early flights, middle of the night emergencies, working late) like a stern guardian, takes this luxury away. Then I’m once again brought back to that moment when it was sheer pleasure to consider my own schedule, and then delightfully decide for myself how late - or early - I’d be diving into my pajamas.
Each day I live, it seems easier and easier to observe a world growing uglier.
The news is often terrible, there are plenty of reasons to fear, and it feels like global problems will never go away -
-as a result, I’ve cultivated such a deep appreciation for kindness.
For example, a colleague of mine buys a Turkish simit (sort of like a soft giant pretzel) everyday and has it cut up in small pieces. It sits in a little container outside his office on a hallway cabinet. The snack size bites are perfect treats, and I watch people grab pieces as they meander by.
I tell him it’s like he is feeding birds – alluding of course to me and his other colleagues.
It’s a small gesture he does every day, and I like to see it, and then remind myself that small things can have big, lasting results. And suddenly the world doesn’t seem so ugly.
Creator of Love, Auntie.