Adulting and Grieving Grandma...
When I was living in Turkey, I would have custom clothing made. In the city of Ankara, you can visit giant fabric markets and select a piece of cloth, then visit a tailor who will sew it into a clothing piece for you. It was an incredible experience, and I felt like some sort of designer. (Yes, I’m far from it! Haha! I created some awful pieces!)
The whole design process reminded me of my late Grandma, who sewed special dresses for me growing up. I wished above all else I could tell her about my experience…to the point it almost hurt. Do you know what I mean? She would have loved hearing about the bolts of fabric and the talented Turkish men and women sewing and designing and measuring with great precision.
Since I couldn’t tell my Grandma, I did the next best thing I could think to do. I told her daughter, my Mom. I told her how much Grandma would have enjoyed my style adventures. My Mom agreed, and we sighed together, and there was a moment of wistfulness. But love was present. It was like we brought Grandma back to life for just an instant.
And that’s when I realized I was helping myself cope with my grief – even years after my Grandma’s death. I know a therapist or book could have suggested this strategy, but I’m not sure I would have listened. Some things just have to come naturally.
No, I wasn’t actually speaking with my Grandma, which is what I really wanted. But telling my thoughts to someone who knew and appreciated my Grandma helped soothe that desire. And so, I make a point to continue to do so.
I think Maya Angelou was right when she said, “A great soul never dies. It brings us together again and again.” And I believe it’s often in togetherness that we find a bit of healing and comfort; at least this has been the case for me.
So I share my story, with hope that similar actions will soothe your grieving heart, too.