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Adulting: Focusing on Now...

In a world that seems to want to glorify “young”, why are we so eager to talk about someone’s next step or phase in life? Ironic, right?

I think it’s a rare person who enjoys and celebrates the here and now. I believe as a whole, society is getting better, but we aren’t where we should be.

When people are dating, we often ask them, “Do you think he/she is "The One"? "Will this possibly lead to marriage?” When couples are engaged, we press for the wedding date. Once married, we want to know about the possibility of children. Do you see what I mean?

I have a feeling it varies culture to culture, but I think it’s probably a similar cycle of questions worldwide. And of course, the questions vary depending on age. When I was in my late teens, the typical questions were about college and careers and the direction I wanted to head. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone ask a teen, “What’s your favorite thing about high school?” I hope people are asking, and I’m just not in ear shot.

“Present questions” is what I’m calling them. I’m resolving this year to ask more of them: to inquire about my friends and family’s current lives. Questions that help them enjoy and consider the world around them as it presently is beyond their mobile phone screens.

Are questions about the future good? Well of course. We need to be thinking about what is to come. But I think it’s equally important our questions help someone live in the present. To intentionally focus on what’s positive in their life right now, even when "now" is difficult. To intentionally look for and then to stop and smell those figurative roses that we are always talking about. And lastly, I strongly think it’s important to realize how something small, like the daily questions we ask, can make that difference we so earnestly desire to make.


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